Motherhood's Sweetest Surprise

I Wondered If I Had Done Enough… Until I Watched Them Succeed

I don’t know about you, but if you are a mother of older children who are starting to spread their wings and fly out into the world, you probably ask your self this one question over and over again.

“Did I teach them enough when they were little? Did I instill enough values into my children? Did I give them wings to fly and be successful?”

If you are anything like me, then you probably sit and ponder... and overthink... and rethink... and worry... and stress over whether you taught your kids everything they needed to know. Did I teach them how to handle difficult situations? How to treat their future friends, spouses, and coworkers? Did I show them what it means to be kind, respectful, hardworking, and the kind of neighbor people are thankful to have?

These thoughts go through my head constantly. I can't turn them off.

In fact, I have literally woken up in a cold sweat wondering if I remembered to teach them practical life things—like how to open a Roth IRA, save part of every paycheck for retirement, build good credit, or not ignore that weird noise their car is making. Isn't it funny the things our mom brains decide to obsess over at two in the morning?

Mothering is hard. We all know that. But what no one really prepares you for is the day you look at your little birdies and say, "Okay... fly."

Then, for a moment, you close your eyes because you're terrified you'll open them and find them at the bottom of the tree with bandaged wings.

But here's the beautiful part.

When you finally do open your eyes, sometimes they're not struggling at all. Sometimes they're soaring higher than you ever imagined they could. They're building lives, chasing dreams, making decisions on their own, and figuring things out without needing Mom to swoop in and save the day.

And in that moment, your heart soars right along with them.

I was talking to my oldest the other day, and he was filling me in on life out in Utah. He's enrolling himself in school and is working as a Medical Sales Representative. But what made me smile the most wasn't his job or his plans—it was hearing the excitement and confidence in his voice. He sounded genuinely happy. As a mom, there really isn't much better than hearing your child sound content with the life they're building.

Then I talked to my second oldest, and he sounded just as happy. He casually mentioned that he and a couple of his buddies had booked flights to Chile in October. Chile! I sat there thinking, "Wow... good for you!" I'm not even sure I would have been brave enough to do something like that at his age.

Can I just say something?

There were many years when I worried about both of them. I questioned whether I had prepared them enough for the real world because, let's be honest, they made some spectacularly "Oh my gosh, what were you thinking?!" mistakes along the way.

The kind of mistakes that make your heart stop and have you wondering if they'll ever figure life out.

Recently, my oldest and I were laughing about some of those years, and he said something that really stuck with me. He admitted that he probably wouldn't be where he is today if he hadn't made those mistakes. Every wrong turn taught him something. Every failure gave him experience. Every obstacle helped shape the man he is becoming.

And maybe that's one of the hardest lessons for us moms to learn. We can't protect our children from every mistake. Sometimes those mistakes become their greatest teachers.

So maybe all those years I spent worrying weren't necessary after all.

Maybe they really were listening when I thought they weren't.

Maybe they were learning more from watching me than I ever realized.

Maybe all those little conversations in the car, around the dinner table, or while folding laundry planted seeds that simply took years to grow.

There is nothing more satisfying than watching your children become happy, capable adults. Not because they're perfect—they're not. None of us are. But because they're finding their own way, creating lives they love, and becoming good humans.

And in those moments, all of the sleepless nights, the worrying, the second-guessing, and the wondering if you did enough begin to fade away.

Because maybe... just maybe...

You did.