So you may be a new mom reading this, or maybe you are a seasoned mom who is already in the midst of teenager-hood with your kids. Those who are seasoned and those who have grown kids will probably chuckle at this, no one warns you about teenager-hood when you decide you want to have kids. Why is that? Perhaps if you knew, maybe that would help you change your mind. Ok, all jokes aside, teens are definitely a challenge, but they are still very lovable in their own ways.
As a mother of four teenagers with one last one on the way to teenager-hood, I thought I would give some tips that I have learned on my journey with teens on how to deal with them. Because as much as they want their freedom, they are still babies and do not understand the consequences of some of their dangerous decisions.
From Babies To Teens
Here are 6 things to consider when raising your teen.
6. Don’t Do Everything For Them!
How are they ever going to know how to cook or do their own laundry if you always do it for them? Your job is to teach them how to become independent from you.
I know that sounds sad, but you will be very grateful that you taught them how to clean up after themselves, cook, and do laundry, even for your own sanity. Here’s a small tip, teens are very messy. Your welcome.
Someday, you may even be lucky to get a thank you from your child’s spouse. Because ultimately, you are teaching your child how to be a good considerate mate, parent, and citizen.
5. Learn From Their Own Mistakes.
They need to learn, not because you “protected them”, but because they got to learn from their own mistakes. Let them make their mistakes and be there to help if they need it, but give them the opportunity to make the mistakes. It’s better for them to make smaller mistakes while under your roof, then huge mistakes out on their own in the world.
4. Get To Their Level. Use Their Lingo!
They want to be heard and understood in their own terms. They may not make a lot of sense, but listen to them and their crazy ideas, and then talk some sense into them. This is a very hard thing to do because most of the time they actually believe the garbage coming out of their mouthes. So using tact goes a long way. Learn their lingo too. As much as they seem to hate it when you start using their terms back to them, they do appreciate that you are paying enough attention to them.
3. Peer Pressure is Real!
When the pressure comes from a best friend, it hits a different part of you. It’s not just about the thing they want you to do; it’s about the relationship, the history, the fear of losing someone who makes school feel survivable. High school can already feel like a maze of social rules, and having even one friend can feel like lifeline-level important. So the thought of disappointing them — or worse, being abandoned — makes saying “no” feel almost impossible.
2. Teens with Decision Making!
Decision-making isn’t always easy for teens. You might assume common sense is something people are naturally born with — but think again. Many teens simply haven’t developed it yet. Even those you consider “responsible” still need consistent guidance and regular check-ins.
1. Give Them Space!
The number one thing to understand about teenagers is that they crave space and freedom. However, they don’t always fully grasp what that responsibility entails. Give them space — but not so much that they’re left to navigate everything on their own. It only takes a few minutes for a teen to make a choice that leads to trouble lasting days, months, or even years. In some cases, the consequences may never completely go away.
So just remember, when you are holding your adorable little precious bundle of joy, that someday that same little adorable child will be slamming the door on your face screaming that they hate you. Great visual right? No in all seriousness, just remember that teens are difficult and you will get through this period of time. Just give them time and plenty of your love and keep praying that they make it to adulthood.